Undercover Geekdom

There's No Jesus On Alderaan... but don't let that stop you.

2009-12-17T03:30:50Z

I really like my office mate for many reasons, but many of them can be summed up here, in the fact that she is the person who recently informed me that the Star Wars Holiday Special can be found, in parts, on YouTube.

If somehow you've never heard of this event, the holiday special really did happen, it is not a joke, it only aired once in the US, and -- apparently -- it still managed to inspire the snuggie.

God bless us, everyone.

My OMG! Edit:

Ok, so if you look, THIS pops up amongst the "related videos".

I ask you. Why does Member's Only need to advertise?

GH: Ok, really. Who writes this stuff?

2009-12-10T00:46:16Z

I don't even mean the rather broad plotting of the only storyline I'm watching right now. I mean the introduction of one Stephen-Lars, Chief of Staff.

That initial scene? The one with Robin & Patrick plus one? Was painful. PAINFUL. First of all, it's always kinda sad when GH doctors talk like real doctors -- but I think the ones of yore were *slightly* more convincing than these three... arguing out in the open about how to treat a patient.

Then we get "Steve" jumping up, revealing his supersecretidentity (just in time to go over to Liz's house invite her to stop patronizing Edward Q, and talk to her about how totally ok it is that she's sleeping with her quasi-non-fiance's brother...) and Patrick won't shake his hand, and Robin gives him shit for spying on their TOTALLY SECRET patient conference they were having right in the middle of the hospital, and then Plus One gets all "So do you like what you see so far?" and grins like... she's 12. And, actually, she does look like she's 12 -- this scene is just mind-bogglingly stupid and badly BADLY written. Not like "this storyline is stupid and we're just doing what we can" badly written, but in a "no person would ever act like anyone in this scene, ever, and this painful to watch and look -- you can actually see the bafflement on the character's faces" badly written.

It was actually kinda amazing to watch the level of suck they reached. I felt for all of them.

I really don't know where to start with the rest of today's episode. Perhaps by advising Nikolas to, you know, stop driving. You have tendency to do incredibly stupid things while driving and you have the money for a car service.

I have to ask if there is a stupider way to do a cheap car accident than the one they chose. The scream and ... whatever that was... I was actually not sure of what had happened. And I know Natalia is lithe, but usually hitting a human body had a more dramatic effect than that... whatever that was.

Also, whatever they had Natalia doing as she lay prone on the ground screaming her head off... Spinal injuries are usually pretty debilitating. I know you're pissed, but... that was pretty impressive.

Michael... Is this how Lucky comes off to some people? Like that kid? Because apart from Jason's GET IN THE CAR! I did not enjoy that at all. I kinda wish Lucky had popped him.

Elizabeth's "It was an accident, right?" also inspired me to want a bigger reaction than Nikolas gave (though, confession: I found myself thinking 'You know, Nik, she can't move right now, you could just cover her mouth and nose with your hand, and *poof*' -- that might just be because I feel like Nikolas needs some edge, though)

Also, speaking of things that would never happen -- Mac just put Lucky in charge of investigating his brother's hitting his ex-girlfriend with a car? Seriously? And because of this, Edward is calling the Mayor?

I swear to God, no one is even *trying* anymore.

Oh, bless you Rebecca

2009-12-08T02:53:01Z

Just catching up on GH... And I was all pissy because Lucky went out to the country to dump Liz, instead of doing it ... I dunno, in not-nature like all normal people. Dumping people far from public transit is ill-advised. Ill. Advised. -- And then we get Liz huffing off to Spoon Island to torture Nikolas some more (not that he doesn't deserve it, but do we really need to bouncing from scene to scene in a variety of lunatic rages? Is painful. And not in a good way.) -- I was zipping through the clip at a pace, when we got...

Oh, God bless you, Natalia, all is forgiven...

We got Rebecca running into Lucky at the hospital and telling him she'd gone to see Nikolas wearing only ... the coat she currently had on.

I will NEVER stop laughing at Lucky's facial expression. It was so bad, I had to stop the scene -- and when I restarted it, I collapsed into giggles all over again. I did this four or five times. When I finally got to his next line, the whole thing started all over again. Oh my GOD, Lucky and Rebecca are hilarious. Endlessly, breathlessly hilarious. I am hard pressed to come up with 2 seconds of tape that have given me more pleasure. OH my GOD, my stomach.

The fact that I'm not entirely sure most of it is supposed to be funny should be ignored. I need whatever fun I can wring out of this sucker.

ETA: Because ACK! I just got to the end. In the words of Rupert Giles -- "I can still hear the smacking!"

Oh my GOD. I'm going to have nightmares about that.

Canadian Issue #243 -- No Thanksgiving to ward off Christmas Commercials

2009-11-24T22:19:54Z

I'm addicted to NPR's pop culture blog Monkey See -- largely because it's edited (and mostly written) by Linda Holmes, who was Miss Alli on TWOP for years and years. Today she did a blurb on non-annoying holiday ads, most of which I only know from hearing Americans talk about them.

The Peter one, particularly. MUCH of US culture crosses the border -- but these weird areas (Some TV, pre-2005, everything on MTV) don't make the jump. This got me thinking about how these ads that have haunted my Christmas season my whole life -- even if they are long gone -- are just not experienced outside Canada. No one else but a Canadian associates Bea Arthur with Mrs. Claus (or knows that Mrs. Claus wears feather boas and loves drugstore products). Only Canadians have the words "give like Santa, save like Scrooge" tattooed on the inside of their brains. And that damn Bell Canada ad -- "They say perfume speaks volumes, but have you ever heard a peep out of a bottle of perfume? Has a tie ever asked you how you were? Have a pair of slippers ever told you how much they miss you?"

I generally like my holiday ads to be caustic and feature elves -- like the one for Polariod a few years ago where Santa, defeated by the complexity of the toys children were asking for, was urged to "Horse 'em!" by a VERY hostile elf clutching a wooden rocking horse.

I really hope that one wasn't ours, because it deserves to be seen far and wide. (Polaroid, so its a good chance it was, I figure).

The *worst* holiday ad I've ever seen is very MUCH ours, though -- not just Canadian, but just for Ontario. The LCBO (read: the people who sell us wine and spirits) did an ad a few years ago that only ran in movie theatres, that featured an old man and his wife -- and the old man was all melancholy because none of his kids were around, and he was sighing and looking sad, and then finally tells his wife he's going up to bed (wife: smiles secretly) -- this is intercut with a group of young adults whispering and giggling to each other as they pull their presents out of a car... And it is LATE at night. The street is deserted, the houses are dark. The old man, he climbs his staircase, and then the doorbell rings. He lifts his head, hope in his eyes -- cut to 'Happy Holidays from the LCBO'.

EVERY TIME this ad aired before a movie the person I was sitting next to would turn to me and mouth "What the fuck?"

I would mouth "I KNOW!"

We even had discussions about it after the movie "So his kids are assholes?" "And his wife! What is with the wife?" "What does this have to do with the LCBO? Is he an alcoholic? Who alienated his kids?" "Seriously, I don't get it."

The best I can figure is they were going for some sort of "It's the holidays. Drink heavily" message.

To change topic... Regarding GH: Just caught up, save the L&L2 picnic. I am still trying to get past the part where James Franco is playing a character named *Franco* -- and acting out a storyline that feels a little like a Batman villian. I am now starting to judge the stock of various actors by how much exposure they get to The Franco. No surprise that Jason is at the top, but I think this is going to be a positive indicator for JJ. (That and the part where he is on EVERY DAY, damnit, guys. I need a break!)

SZ's sniffing about his acting skills on the weekend was hard for me to abstain from -- not because I'm a Franco apologist, but because he had, like, one line. Consisting of two words. And that kind of stuff embarrasses me. That's the kind of stuff where I find myself muttering "This is why people think soap watchers are crazy."

And if you'll excuse me, a short note:

Dear Nikolas,

You're turning into Edward Cullen. Stop it.

Also: Monogramed cufflinks? Really? You have a crest, you know. I'm just sayin'.

Dreamylyfe

facepalm

2009-11-16T20:29:45Z

So on Friday (and I still haven't watched *all* of the scenes from last week) we finally got a couple of one-on-one Nik/Lucky scenes. And they even featured a short monologue where Nikolas talks to the Quartermaine Crypt (Gah, moment to note the names listed on the outside -- Alan, Emily, AJ, Lila and Justus -- Justus is dead? Oh, of course it is. Damnit) -- ANYWAY, Nikolas gave us some reasons for his whoring about (he's sad and has no impulse control -- which... is pretty accurate, really), and then he and Lucky talked and I got some grinny moments out of the whole thing.

Yeah... As much as this story is not long on the sense making, that bit in the middle there when Nikolas is going on about how well he is NOT doing, and JJ's eyes are darting back and forth in such a way that you are at least assured that the neurons are firing? I found that hilarious even BEFORE he delivered what has to be my favourite innocuous line reading ever: "Just something in your tone..."

I can't even explain how or why I found that so funny, but it was lying-head-on-desk-and-giggling-maniacally funny to me.

Not as funny as "Well, that explains a LOT" from GV a few months ago, but still -- a solid showing in the making something out of nothing department.

But then... THEN Nikolas goes off for awhile so that Liz can go to Emily's grave and say one touching thing (I may have hated L&L2, but everything I bought about them was summed up in that "loved me back to life" line. *sigh* Liz, I do not like to call names, but you are PUSHING me at this point. Listen to ... yourself, actually. Both you and Nikolas need to do less talk and more show). When Nikolas turned up again and had (YAY!) another Lucky scene, I have to admit, I was left wondering just what he is doing with his free time, because I"m thinking... crack. And maybe a lot of it.

Here would be the infamous exchange in which Lucky gets slightly too "wink wink nudge nudge" about his relationship with Liz and Nikolas (who has no capcity to nudge or wink, apparently) shoots back with his innappropriate "YEAH, hey, you must be absolutely THRILLED that she's finally deigning to have sex with you again, I've been meaning to get a card. Does Hallmark make a card? Hahahahaha...Ha. Buddy."

Ok, that is an exaggeration, but NOT BY MUCH. I had to go and lie down and put my face under a pillow for awhile, but unfortunately that did not erase the moment from my mind. Then I went and watched it again to see if it was an WTF??? as it originally seemed.

It truly was.

Nikolas, honey. You cannot be trusted with anything right now. PLEASE stop talking.

Finally, I need to ask you guys -- what the heck do you make the return of The Chad? Why is Zander (dead), whose major storyline on GH was his deep abiding love of Emily (also dead) coming back to facilitate the exit of Rebecca (soon to be dead? Please?) -- is there some "Nikolas Cassadine Screwed Me Over and All I Got Was This Stupid Halo" club in heaven? I do not get this. At all.

The Tempermental Muse and NaNoWriMo

2009-11-11T01:37:26Z

First of all, I'm wracked with... possibly guilt, possibly terror... because I did not get something done at work today and it's upsetting me. A lot. Mostly because I didn't get it done because I can't figure out what to do, which is the WORSE type of not getting it done, because I'm not likely to be any better off tomorrow.

And then I came home and continued my quest to NaNoWriMo -- and that is going well. For the first time in eons, that is actually going well. I have 15,000 words. Whoo and hoo.

I am blatantly using NaNo as a way to free myself from my insane need to finish my long-languishing fanfic, and for the first time in AGES I feel like it might just happen. If I'm the only person in the world who still cares (oddly freeing), it really may happen. And that's great.

But here's the thing. I am very nearly convinced that if I watch anymore of this Niz/L&L2 garbage, I will NaNoWriNOTHING.

Soooo not enjoying it anymore. I had a brief attack of "this is fun, this is kinda interesting", but it relied HEAVILY on both Lucky not being played by JJ and Niz making even the tiniest modicum of sense. Which they did for a minute, but then I dropped my attention to something else and now ... Now the whimsy or whatever it is? Gone. I feel kinda nauseous.

Also, my whole apartment smells like burning pumpkin. That can't be good, right?

I am ALSO concerned, because James Franco is about to show up, and that will require SOME degree of watching characters I do not usually watch, I am almost certain.

AND, in closing, it cannot be said enough: They had Michael kill Claudia with an AXE.

Guza, I do not know from whence your issues sprung, but STOP IT. Gah!

No Expectations

2009-10-29T13:22:53Z

I've argued for a long time that having expectations is a painful way to go through life. No expectations, no disappointments, life maintains -- of course, I write a lot about the value of having someone you can safely expect stuff of (and, actually, the burden of having expectations of yourself, now that I think about it), so clearly I like it when things go the other way.

I have tempered my JJ-Fandom in many ways -- I try not to read his media, I try to forget about his politics, I try not to watch anything that I fear is going to be too embarrassing. I sat through Tuck Everlasting, people. That's as far as I'll go.

I most certainly was not dim enough to expect anything but a nightmare of his return to GH. However... Here I am, Day Two of the Return of Lucky Spencer, and to say my expectations have been exceeded is an understatement.

If you only watch one GH clip ever again in your life, this is the one. I did not know the show was even capable of this anymore. And everything I have ever loved about both Lucky Spencer and Jonathan Jackson in encapsulated in his line about DNA -- that moment is angry, bitter, heartbroken, proud, defiant -- layers, baby. He haz them.

NOTE: For the record, Luke is hung over, having drank himself into a stupour after catching Liz & Nik making out on the dock. Lucky is just generally pissed at Luke for being an enormous disppointment -- speaking of expectations -- and really, Luke HAS been an enormous disspointment for many years now. That's just true facts, there.

The rest of the show will make a girl sick -- maybe even more so, given what they're apparently still capable of -- but JJ had the decency to be in the first scene back from commercial every time, and I zipped through the episode in about ten minutes.

And even having heard everyone on SZ SAY it was great? I was not prepared for how honestly great it was. He can do nothing but crap for the next six months (or however long he stays) -- Today I had Lucky Spencer back, and it really was like getting a (fictional character) back from the dead.

My thoughts on Yaoi... ok, mostly Lucky Spencer.

2009-10-28T03:58:50Z

I'm not that kind of writer.

Ok, first and foremost, yeah, yeah, Jonathan Jackson’s back – WHAT is up with the MUSIC cues? They are comically bad in his first scene. They might as well just go with the classic DUN DUN DAH! every time Elizabeth remembers that she’s supposedly not in love with Lucky.

Speaking of which… that is officially not being sold anymore. Which makes this whole storyline less tenable to me, particularly given how completely gross Liz has been to Lucky even before the whole sleeping-with-your-brother thing. Which is to say… Liz is getting on my nerves again. All is right with my world.

So… I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a Luke & Lucky scene with GV – I mean, I must have, but it clearly didn’t leave any sort of impression – but from the response on soapzone I (speaking of which, I really don’t think I can do the main board, which means that work will have to do me the favour of being less grievously painful than it was today. Writing is one thing, rewriting is another, but having to rewrite the edit of the rewrite of my original piece and THEN have the interview subject edit his entire CV into the thing? Oh my GOD, I’m close to committing violence with a poppy pin.) – Where was I? Right. On SZ, I just… I had a different reaction to a lot of stuff. And I expected the TG stuff to be more overt or obvious or something, I thought it was just kinda… mellow. Well done, I liked it, don’t get me wrong – but soapzone had me expecting TG to fall to his knees and praise Jesus.

I take it Luke hasn’t been that nice to Lucky in a really long time.

Speaking of which -- Ok, I know he’s not 12 anymore, but… doesn’t Lucky have a gambling problem? I mean, I say that as someone who has thoroughly ignored that whole aspect of Lucky, but still… Doesn’t he?

Low blow with the floor line, and here would be the other thing I need to deal with where SZ is concerned. Those who like JJ do tend to have liked L&L2, and GOD did I hate them. I mean, I smiled and all, but… I also remember how trying I found that storyline. Additionally, I don’t hate Nikolas. I thought I would – I really thought I would, and it would have been nice if they’d talked and all, but… Didn’t hate him. In fact, he hasn’t gotten to be that obnoxious (in that Nikolas is trying to be obnoxious, rather than Nikolas is being obnoxious because when Emily’s around he lacks a soul) for a long time – I had lost the thread on Niz. Their last few scenes were dull, that Helena stuff tortured me, and right up until they met on the docks I was all “Why was I enjoying this?”

Oh, RIGHT. Because it’s deeply fucked up. And I enjoy that.

And speaking of not hating Nikolas, I was thinking “Nikolas is becoming unviable as a character. The only way he works is if you mire him in the post-Emily funk and the dead uncle and the crippling lack of interest he seems to have in his own life, and once this L&L2 thing plays out (I don’t think they slant the writing towards JJ in the JJ/Nik dynamic, I really don’t, but that so doesn't go in his favour in a JJ-Lucky universe), he’s just … you know, that prick who slept with the love of his brother’s life without having a particularly compelling reason. THEN what? Especially with the nightmare that is Natalia Livingston hanging around, constantly threatening to turn back into Emily…“

And then. THEN! The news!

spoiler, folks, I can’t cut in a cut

she is leaving the show

Wow. Happy Birthday to me.

My favourite line delivery (and it’s hard to choose one) is “No you haven’t” following Elizabeth’s whole meltdown where she told him she’d been horrible to him. Leeeetle bit of consistency there, given how dim previous-Lucky was – he doesn’t suspect a damn thing. (speaking of which, that bit where he told Laura "I know she loves me"? OW! How nice that I get to care).

I have to break in here to say that Dominic had a good line! Dante/Dominic/Whatever is usually having the same damn conversation over and over again (speaking of which, does he have more than one shirt?), but today Lulu is randomly drugged (at a … fashion show? Did I get that right?) and I did enjoy “I’ll be over there… in case you stop breathing.” – stupid storyline, not entirely stupid line.

Sooooo… Laura can talk now? And cooks? And gets email? Since when? I thought she was all coma girl and stuff.

Also, GH: I never ever give you filmmaking points, EVER. The last time I did was that whole Hate Sex extravaganza (which is not to say I didn’t hate that) – you USED to be able to juxtapose things for dramatic effect, but somewhere along the line, you got lazy. So it is with GREAT surprise that I say … Hey, that was a bit on the clever side, that bit at the end.

::: adjusts party hat::: It's heeeeeere...

2009-10-27T13:32:00Z

Holy mother of God, after barely making it through three youtube videos (FF'ed, for the love of God) yesterday and fearing I would slip into a coma before he arrived, the day of Jonathan Jackson's return to GH has finally arrived.

Yay?

Mostly Yay, because, courtesy of ultraviolet , I have seen his first scene!

(They are really promoting this, huh?  No lying back, hoping people just idly drop by for him. My inner Spencer fan feels slightly smug. My inner Cassadine fan feels slightly put out).

Anyway, because I need to make fun of the things I love...

So the good news, I guess, if you loved L&L2 would be that they seemingly have not missed a step. I found it nearly creepy how familiar they were.

That said, you all probably know how much I hated L&L2. So there's that.

However, along with that, there's the fact that Lucky is ... Lucky-like again. And weirdly unethusiastic about Luke... I've been FFing too much -- what is that about?  They were all at that stupid engagement party (that was apparently the end of Greg) -- I must have missed something. He's also low-key, and soft-spoken and all kinds of fun again.

That said -- TWO Lucky puns?  Really?  And not on the first day -- in the first SCENE. Restraint, people. You have to be very careful with the Lucky puns.

So. In other news... I've been toying around with an idea... that involves my posting fanfic again. And starting today. I'm not brave enough (WEIRDLY SELF CONSCIOUS, in fact, which has never happened before. Err... That I remember. But then, GH fanfic is dead and all, so... ) to leap in with what I had originally planned, so... Bit of a blast from the past, both here and on SZ.

Note: LJ cut did not work in the fashion that it is supposed to work. Hopefully, I've now fixed it.

So -- this fic came out of the Five Point Challenge (which you can find over on the side bar. I did two -- One for Lucky, one for Nikolas -- because I am nothing if not predictable... and someone had already done Carly.)

Anyway, I took the Lucky one as a chance to write the way I wanted Lucky to reappear after

This fic was how I wanted Lucky to come back -- it was written around 2003, I think -- so if you remember what GH looked like in 1999, just imagine that as the jumping off point.

That said, this is strangely nerve-wracking, particularly for something that is already on the internet ;)

June, 2006

"Hey."

"Hhhhhhh...."

"You ok?"

"Hhhhhh..... Hhhhhow...." Nikolas Cassadine shook his head, hard. Nope. Didn't help. "Um. Let me get the light." He reached over blindly, not taking his eyes off the lanky figure standing behind his desk, back lit through the large window. Paused a moment, his hand hovering over the light switch. Scared, just for a second, that if he flipped the switch, the shadow would disappear.

But. He who hesitates is lost. He flipped the switch and everything was illuminated. "Oh man."

He was leaning against the window sill. Both hands casually draped over the molded wood, shoulders leaning against the stained glass of the central panel. The side panel was open, just a little. Letting in a damp night breeze -- which brushed across Nikolas's features like a welcome friend. Providing contrast, distinct physical sensation. Oxygen. He pulled it into his lungs like he'd just burst through the crest of the ocean after fighting to the surface.

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening.

Of course, this had happened to him at least three times before, so really -- it was just stupid to be surprised by it.

"Lucky," he managed, finally, finding the wall and deciding leaning against it was a strong choice. "Hey."

His brother -- it felt weird to even think the words. To think them without some sort of shadow being cast across them -- His brother nodded towards the open door to Nikolas's immediate left.

"Can you close that?"

Nikolas nodded, reaching out one hand, and pushing the door firmly shut. He didn't move any muscles but those needed for the action, and he didn't turn his eyes away from the man standing in front of him.

"It's you," he said, finally. It was hard to work out exactly where to start. He scanned his brother quickly. Mid-twenties, beyond his teens now. Broader chest, taller... But Lucky. Definitely and without doubt... Lucky. Same eyes, same posture. Same out of control hair, too. He frowned. "What... What happened to your face."

Lucky stared at him a long moment, then reached up and drew his fingers along the line of the scar that sliced across his left cheek.

"Life."

He nodded. For the moment, that was more than enough answer. "Where..." He shook his head again. "Where have you been?"

"Around," he sighed. "Are you going to stand there all night?"

"Maybe," Nikolas admitted. "It's working out so far."

Lucky nodded slightly, then came around the desk. Sat down on the edge and pushed the chair that sat opposite in Nikolas's direction. "I need to talk to you."

"Clearly." Ok, this was ridiculous. He had to pull himself together. He had to -- After all, that's what Cassadines did best. He turned his focus onto the chair and managed to push himself off the wall. Move just those few small steps and sat down, almost robotically.

"You're shaking."

Nikolas frowned, then looked down at his hands. "Yeah. Yeah..." He studied them as if they belonged to someone else. "I guess I am."

"Wanna drink?"

"No...." Alcohol was the furthest thing from his mind. He didn't want to fog this up. He was regretting the half-a-glass of champagne he'd had nearly three hours ago. He had to know this was something happening in sobriety. And he had to remember it. All of it. "You're really here. You're really... Not dead."

"Nope."

"That's... Uh," he laughed, feeling a wave of warmth, of joy or relief or just realization, flood him. "That's good news."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he choked on the word. Tears welling up in his eyes, his chest tightening.

"Hey."

"I've missed you," he blurted out. God, how many times over the years had he wished he just had five more minutes, five minutes to say all the things he hadn't realized until Lucky had been put in the ground? Until he'd really started to understand that his brother was dead. And he wasn't ever going to... "I missed a lot of things," he said, numbly. "I thought you were gone forever."

"I thought the same thing, sometimes," he was avoiding looking directly at him, as he fished in the pockets of his leather jacket for something. Finally, he pulled out a small pack of Marlboroghs. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"You smoke?

Lucky offered a slight smile that didn't travel to his eyes. "I had a lot of time to kill."

"Ah, no. No, go for it."

He tapped a cigarette out of a pack, then stopped. "Go for it?"

It took Nikolas a moment to understand what his brother meant. "I've been living in America for over ten years now, don't look so shocked."

Lucky nodded, tapping the end of his cigarette against the package three times before bringing it to his lips. "I have a lot to catch up on." He paused, to light up. Nikolas watched him. Watched his hands -- he couldn't get used to that. It seemed impossible that this was really Lucky. After seven years, really him. But everything was so undeniably familiar. Things he didn't even know he remembered. It was mind blowing.

Eventually, he was going to have to take that drink.

"Who... Who else knows?" he made the words slowly, as they drifted across his brain.

"Including you?" Lucky furrowed his brow, counting on fingers. "That'd be... Like... No. You. That's pretty much it."

He stared at him. "I'm the first person you came to?"

Lucky shrugged, looking off at some distant part of the floor. "Yeah. Well. I trust you."

Interesting. Nikolas drank in those words. He was starting to feel human now. Assembling himself.

"I wanted an update," Lucky clarified. "Before I made any big announcements."

Nikolas was shaking his head again. "Where were you?"

"You really want to know?"

He looked over at him sharply. "It was my family. Grandmother."

"Sometimes," Lucky took a long drag off the cigarette. "Sometimes it was other people. I think they had some grand scheme in mind, and it didn't work out for them."

"So."

He shrugged. "What do you do with a priceless bargaining chip when no one's playing the right game?" He looked "I don't know. I don't know what was going on here. I just know that whatever it was... It let seven years go by."

"I can't believe I didn't know," he couldn't keep the guilt out of his voice. "Grandmother's been dead for over a year."

Lucky looked surprised at that. A million points of light in his eyes, little connections being made, realizations. It was the first time since they'd started this conversation that his brother had looked anything close to flappable. But he shut it down quickly, and looked away. "My condolences."

"What --" he started to ask, but Lucky pushed himself off the desk and started to pace the room.

"I'll tell you, but I can't..." he paused, mid-room, and stared at the books on the far wall. Then shook himself back to reality. Started to pace, and smoke again. Agitated. He looked caged. "Not right now, Ok? I need... I need to know stuff." He pivoted to face his brother. "I thought you'd probably tell me. Without having am mental break down. I'm right, aren't I?"

Nikolas had stood, and was standing with his back to the desk now. He nodded, slightly. "You're right."

Lucky's eyes studied him. Then he smiled. And it was a real smile this time. Ironic around the edges, but believable. Like a blinding flash of happiness that leapt up out of nowhere and quickly receded. "Knew I could count on you."

"Always," Nikolas said the word low and steeped with meaning. Bowing under the weight of sincerity. Lucky just nodded and started to pace again.

"Big party down there," he pointed out. Nikolas nodded. "Celebration," he turned and looked Nikolas directly in the eye. "Anniversary?"

Lucky, it seemed, had done some spying. "Their fifth."

The corners of his mouth twitched a little, like he was fighting another, darker smile. "Your parents."

"No," it was an automatic answer, and he immediately thought better of it. "Well. Yes. How did you get in here?"

Lucky batted the question away. "Stefan and Laura, right? Your parents. How are they not your parents?"

Nikolas made a face. This was the worst thing about people returning from the dead. It made you reflect on things long passed.

"Well... it turns out..." he laughed, slightly. "I'm... Not not the Prince." Lucky looked at him in utter bewilderment, so Nikolas forced himself to carry on. "Short version is.... Everything I grew up believing was what had really happened. It's just that my uncle -- he thought it was different. He thought he was my father. More of Grandmother's carefully laid plans."

"You're still Stavros's son."

Nikolas glanced around the room, trying to find something interesting to look at. "Yeah."

Lucky stood still a moment, absorbing that. "I'm sorry," he said, finally. He meant it, Nikolas could hear that.

"So was I," he admitted.

"You run things now?"

"For the past year."

"Wow," Lucky started back towards the desk. After a moment's hesitation, he stubbed his cigarette out on a random coaster and picked up the pack again. " So what else happened? What's going on with you? Are you married? Do you have kids?"

"I was almost married. It went awry."

"So no."

"No."

"What happened to her?"

Nikolas shrugged. "She made other choices. We loved each other, but..." He leaned back far enough that he could only see the top of the walls, the ceiling. "Wasn't enough."

"Ok," Lucky had drawn another cigarette and was lighting it up. "Lulu?" he asked, as he flicked his lighter.

"Lulu's great," he stumbled over the word, questioning it's use right in the middle of the thought. Oh, too hell with it. He might as well know. "She lives here. No one sees much of your Dad anymore."

"I figured."

"He stuck around for awhile after... But once Laura and Uncle were married..."

"Vanished into parts unknown." Another long drag. Lucky tipped his head back and blew the smoke upwards. "He was always good in a crisis."

"You could look for him. He shows up sometimes."

"Yeah," Lucky looked over at Nikolas, his mouth twisted into a bitter smile. "I'll think about that." He scratched the back of his neck, thoughtfully, then ventured, "Emily?"

Nikolas laughed slightly. Loaded question, though there was no way for him to know that. "Don't know if you'd believe me."

"I saw she was downstairs."

"Yeah."

Lucky looked at him pointedly.

"She's not with me, if that's what you're hinting at. But she's living in the guest house. Temporarily. She's in the middle of a divorce."

"Divorce."

"Yeah. She married pretty young."

"Anyone I'd know?"

"Zander Smith," he laughed, breathlessly. He really hated this topic. "You're going to hate him."

Lucky smiled thinly. "Yeah?"

"Once you get the whole story? It's a lock." He tipped his head back. Looked up at the ceiling overhead. The question was hanging in the air and he decided not to make his brother ask it. "She's married, Lucky."

There was a long silence. The sound of another deep inhale/exhale. Nikolas waited.

"Yeah, I figured."

"More than that. She has a child. She's pregnant with another one."

Lucky nodded. And nodded. And nodded. "She happy?"

"I don't know," Nikolas frowned. "After... It happened, Elizabeth and I... We were pretty close. She needed someone, and I thought... I thought it was what you'd want."

Lucky nodded. Stared off into the distance for awhile before murmuring. "Thank you."

Nikolas felt a brief nagging shame, but pushed it aside. His feelings for Liz, ancient as they might be, were definitely not something he needed to share right now. Or ever.

"But she got involved with someone I... I admit, I didn't like. And since then..."

"Who was it?"

Nikolas rubbed a hand over his face. "Jason Morgan."

Lucky sat still, staring into space. Then he shrugged and stubbed the cigarette out. "He still in the mob?"

"Anyone's guess."

"So yeah."

"Probably."

There was a long silence. Nikolas had nothing else to offer and Lucky wasn't asking any questions. Finally, Lucky let out a groan. "I gotta say something to you." Nikolas raised his head, looking over at him questioningly. "I really did come here because I couldn't see facing anyone else. Not yet. And because... I never really had a lot of close friends. Not the way..." he shook his head. "What was going on with us when... The fire happened. It was important to me. And I knew, somehow... Things might be totally different with everyone else, in some weird way, we'd probably be the same."

"Are we?"

"Maybe."

He smiled. It really was a heartbreaking attempt. One that made Nikolas feel cold and inexplicably angry. Not at his brother, but at whatever had happened, whoever was responsible.

"The party's breaking up," he said, quietly. "You could go downstairs. See Mother."

"She'd have a heart attack."

"Well, yes. But once she recovered from the initial cardiac arrest, she'd be happy." Very happy. So happy Nikolas wasn't sure he had it in him to watch.

"I don't know," Lucky ran his hand through his hair a few times. Compulsive gesture. "I saw that party, you know? I keep thinking walking into that room would be like It's A Wonderful Life in reverse." He turned and leaned back on the desk. Stared down at the carpet a long time before murmuring. "It's been really bad Nikolas. More than I can say right now. And then I come back here, I get back to a place I've been trying to get to from the day I left -- and it's like I'm the last unicorn or something. I just... I can't get my head around it."

"Ok," Nikolas lacked anything else to say. It wasn't like Lucky was wrong. The Spencers, in a lot of ways, just didn't exist anymore. Not the way they had. "But... We really need you back, Lucky. I mean... As much as it might look like things are fine? They're not. What happened changed all of us. And none of us got over it. None of us."

And it happened again. A million little moments, emotions, realizations, swept across his brothers face. Lucky lifted his hand up to his mouth, as if he still thought it held the cigarette, and this time it was his brother who was shaking. He touched his lips lightly with two fingers, then let his hand drop.

"You swear?"

"I swear."

"'Cause it doesn't look like there's much room for me in the family portrait, you know?"

Nikolas shook his head. It was such a meaningless observation. No matter what they'd all turned into, it was going to change now. The impossible had happened. Lucky Spencer was back from the dead.

"Don't worry about room," Nikolas said, getting to his feet. "We'll make room."

In Training

2009-10-05T22:40:34Z

I have surrendered to my fate and started trying to familiarize myself with PC2009. I admit, it was not easy at first. The first clip I watched was Nikolas & Liz being idiots some time in April. First of all – I know this is unfair and shallow, but it took me some time to once again adjust to the physical appearance of Tyler Christopher. I’m sorry, but that’s just where I’m at. Also, Nik & Liz were being particularly cheesy, so I had to keep pausing and taking deep breaths.

After that admittedly painful entry, however, things got markedly better. In fact, I found myself… entertained. That said, remember the last time I laid eyes on that characters.

So. Some early impressions.

** I kinda love that Liz is such a lush. There’s a clip of her whining at Nikolas because he’s not going about the tequila shots correctly (because… he has no short term memory? Honestly, I don’t know. I think, much like the rolled-up-pant-leg of days gone by, this is all about having Nikolas watch Liz suck a lime.)

And if Liz is a lush, I don’t know what to call Nikolas because he was drunk or on the way to getting drunk in easily half the scenes I watched.

** It would figure that Emily, the character I hate more than all others, is the only character in soap history to be well and truly mourned for more than ten minutes.

** Nikolas is apparently going all Cassadine is just sorta disinterested in it. People say “you’re acting all cold and Cassadine” and he’s all “Whatever. Vodka?”

** And by “All Cold and Cassadine”, we do seem to mean a really sarcastic Stefan. Really sarcastic, drunk Stefan. I’d add slutty, but Nikolas has always been slutty.

** Liz’s son is named Jake. After the place where everyone goes to get drunk and fall into bed with random people and then conceive kids … like Jake. I’m assured he’s not actually named AFTER Jakes, but… That is awesome!

** I cannot believe that Emily is dead, and yet that actress is still on the show. That is just so cruel.

** Lucky, God love him, I just can’t hate someone that dumb. And, yes, I got the Embrace the Hate award for him that one year, but it was work, because he’s not so much annoying as STUPID. Of course, the fact that he’s stupid is totally offensive to me, but … that’s an intellectual reaction more than anything else. My emotional reaction is more like “Oh, Lucky. Please stop making decisions. They are always terrible.”

** Speaking of which, I see that GH is no less contrived, because NO ONE ALIVE pulls their two kids out of a kiddie pool at a BBQ to go pick up something at the store. “Sure, Dad. Enough playing and roughhousing with my quai-cousin! Let’s go sit in the hot car, go to the supermarket, and buy groceries for mom! Also, I’m sure that will give her the perfect opportunity to start making out with your super-depressed and uber-needy brother.”

Also, how much do I love the random detail that Nikolas brought his son to a pool party without a suit? But remembered the chips and salsa? Oh my God, my stomach.

Alright, I absolutely loved the Nikolas scenes I watched, more than I can possibly describe. I don’t know if it is because I no longer have any emotional involvement with the show, but … I love super-depressed, uber-needy, watched-too-much-Vertigo, doing-the-kind-of-creepy-ass-things-his-funkle-used-to-do, drinking-way-too-much Nikolas. He cracks me up. I was fully expecting to loathe Nik, but he’s just too funny. He is just turning out to be so bad at being human.

It is important to note that I never need any character I enjoy to actually be a worthwhile human being. I often prefer it when they are not. Also: No Pirates. Thank God. I also appreciate the glimmer of self-awareness. Like noting, after having a nightmare about Rebecca & Emily, that, having distained the obsessions of the men in his family, he is totally right where they were.

Eventually I moved on to other non-Spencer/Cassadine characters (ok, sorta – among them were Alexis and Kristina. Who is … what? SIXTEEN? Shut up, GH!), Claudia (Brain cannot handle this. At all.), Michael (speaking of which, when did Redrum turn a) blonde and b) into a teenager?) and this Olivia chick. There are a whack of people I do not know, but I’m sure they… totally don’t matter.

Alright. So ALL OF THAT SAID -- What works for me about Niz is pretty reliant on the fact that they're not really in love -- just being wildly destructive together. If that changes -- and let's face it, it probably will, if only on Nikolas's part -- then I will turn on them like the faithless soap hussy that I am. However... there are worse storylines for JJ to stroll back into.

By far.

Too Much To Talk About

2009-10-04T17:36:05Z

I tried yesterday to post -- I did -- but I could not get my browser to let me post in the little posting box.

I'm easily defeated.

ANYWAY -- Last night was Nuit Blanche, which might be my absolute favourite event of the year. (Also, I love that article I linked, because last night I said to my sister "Look! The tower is celebrating!" and she argued that it always looked that way, but I was pretty sure there were more lights, doing more things. And apparently, I was right.) I love Nuit Blanche for a few reasons, but mostly it's this:  You get to wander around your city, sometimes finding things you didn't know existed, and encounter all these experiences on the way. And the art installations are, largley, experiences. I mean, sometimes you come across something like that Canadian Tire sign just having a big ass picture on it -- but mostly, these pieces are more deeply engrossing than that.

So! Highlights!

Best Discovery of New Place:  The Old City Hall Sallyport. I had no idea that was there -- and the installation was just lighting up an existing stain glass window and playing an evocative soundscape. Simple, but fascinating

Creepiest Installation:  The "four letter word" installation on the current city hall -- when we went by the first time, the word -- which was hung between the two office towers, over top the infamous "spaceship" centre building, just said "FATE". There was very creepy "the aliens have landed" music playing, so we moved on.

Strangest Fellow Viewer:  By a mile, the guy at the Ghost Chorus, who was examining the "ghost" standing in front of him as if he was not a real person. He was commenting, in particular, on how the ghosts "glowed" and pointing long the folds of the sheet the guy was wearing. All night, my sister and I continued pointing to each other and making random observations.

Biggest "Who Came Up With This?" Moment:  By far, the blindfolded cage wrestling at the Bus Station. Made all the more awesome by the fact that there were people there who were honestly just trying to catch a bus.

Most Engrossing Piece:  C. and I got completely sucked in by a piece of tape that showed an early morning in Toronto -- starting out with a plastic cup lying next to a pool of stagnant water, panning up to a back alley, and then over to a guy reading in his car as a Go Train flies by. The whole thing was being run in reverse, but you don't realize it until a cloud of dust suddenly comes together and reveals a pick up truck. We watched it at least three times, and then started showing other people all the little things to see in it. "Look, down there are the bugs... and then the wind starts here, because the little plant starts to move... and then... Look! Look how slowly the car is moving. That's because it's actually going backwards." -- EVERYONE loved the dust cloud thing. We all got ridiculously excited about it.

That was actually just one of many video pieces at Hart House. I loved them deeply, mostly because they all contained narratives, but you really had to pay attention to pick out all the details. Very rewarding stuff.

Most random perk:  The crowded streets. There are not this many people out at noon on a weekday -- and while the crowds WILL get you down (particularly after midnight, when much of the crowd is drunk college students) after awhile, they also make it feel pretty safe to explore the corners of your city at night, which is cool. Also, when we were on the double-decker shuttle between City Hall and The Distillery District, the insane antics of the people on the roof of the bus made watching the pedestrian reactions into a show in and of itself. They were INSANELY excited, as if you can't see these buses every single day in the city during the summer.

Best Life Imitates Art Moment:  About five minutes from my house, at around 2 am, C. and I sat down and watched the antics of some random people on Gould Street. It started with a manhole that was spewing steam into the cool night air. (person walking by on cell phone:  "There's a man hole -- not like a gay porno, but like a man hole, in the street, and it's spewing SMOKE, just like in a movie about New York!")   A whole series of Ryerson students went and stood over the grate, while their friends took their pictures. C. and I were very distracted by how much they must smell after that. Finally, a guy in a long wool coat came by, took a picture of the grate itself, and then, as he passed us, said "Standing over steaming sulphur. Brilliant idea."

C. and I found this hysterically funny. It was partly the fact that we'd been saying something similar, partly his tone, but mostly?  It was the way he swept by in his long wool coat, tossing his scarf over his shoulder.

While all this was going on across the street, someone on our side of the street had picked up a large road pylon, and put it over her entire upper body. She danced around for awhile, very excited about this turn of events. After awhile, though, her revelry seemed to fade, and right about that time, two guys walked past us singing/chanting The Ting Tings "That's Not My Name". As they reached Pylon Girl, one carefully moved around her, but the other Ting Ting Guy walked right up to her, wrapped his arms around the pylon, and gave her a hug. They chatted for at least 15 minutes, new friends, and then he helped her take the pylon off her head.

In the words of Dr. Samuel Beckett, "Oh, boy."

2009-02-16T02:14:32Z

So. We know who the bad guy is. All this time, it turns out it's not "The Cylons", it's not "Half the Cylons", and it's certainly not "The Final Five".

I cannot stress how great Jacob's recaplet is on TWOP -- particularly this line:

"So Brother John Cavil gives a fairly moving and convincing speech for why he's so pissed off, and you finally get Cavil: he's basically like Pinocchio going, "Really? Lederhosen? Fuckin' forever?" ."

Yeah. Trippy. That whole episode? Trippy. Like say one day the box you have in the closet opens, and out comes your creator, and she's all "Oh, it's so good to SEE you! And while I've got you here, can we chat about why all the genocide?"

Oh my God. This show? Love it. And I can't think of another show -- other than Buffy -- that came to a close by bringing it's central theme sharply into focus so that no one can miss what they've been subtly on about all these years. Ellen rocked. And the actress! I love the flat out difference of her, from that lunatic mess of an army wife we watched for so many years. Love her. SO happy to have her back.

Very quick shout out to Laura for saying the most correct and true thing one character has ever said to another when she told Lee that his devotion to being right kept him from being smart. J'ADORE. And dear Lee, responding "I'll try to be smarter. And wronger". Hee!

Alright, so... Lee/Kara Shipper than I am, you might think that I hated all the Sam/Kara this week, but... I lurved it. I loved her, loved her, loved her. She's finally turning into a functional human being, and I loved how over her anti-cylon shit she was, as she tried -- maybe for the first time ever -- to be a good wife. TO HER POSSIBLY DYING HUSBAND.

I was thinking maybe Sam would "die" and then resurrect, so that he and Ellen could save the universe (how cool would that be?) -- but when the totally expected BOOMER WILL SAVE US ALL moment came, I thought "uh oh..." -- Brain dead, presumably, is stuck in his current meat suit and will not be saving anything for some time -- which is good news if you don't want to get a Cavilobotomy, but otherwise... Poor Sam!

I will not lay any odds on whether or not Kara is drinking heavily in the next episode. As far as I'm concerned, it could go either way.

LOVED Sam telling The Four (Ok, The Three) their story. I have come to adore Sam since he became a cylon, and the actor really captured his excitement and joy at having the whole story. Also loved how rabid and hungry the three were for more.

Three classic moments, though:   * The look on Kara's face when Sam talks about the eight models
                                                          * The look on both Tory and Galen's face when they were told they were in love
                                                            * And finally, Tory, with "What the hell is the deal with that FRACKING SONG?"

Man. That was some good stuff. Can't wait for more... and can't believe there's only five more episode left. Gowdie has mentioned several times that Buffy is the only show that she stuck with right to the end, and while I can't swear that that's true for me, BSG is certainly in a very exclusive club. It seems impossible, at this point, that it won't go out on a pretty high creative note. So satisfying.

Welcome to the ... Wait, where are you going?

2009-02-15T03:49:16Z

Ohhhhh man.

I dunno about this Dollhouse thing. I'm far from delivering a verdict, but that? Was a startling lack of funny. Here's hoping part of the Firefly Part Deux is the 'pilot that isn't that great an episode' part.

Also, the guy recapping it for TWOP is the guy who used to recap Buffy, and... Misses the bloody point with alarming regularity. That's annoying.

Hi, Treason!

2009-02-08T17:45:56Z

Ok, I have three things to post about, but BSG is taking the title, because ... I like it the best.

Not saying it's good -- just that I like it best.

First -- Twilight! Finally got the audiobook for the first book and you know... not nearly as bad as the second one! I mean, still Twilight, still has all the same problems, and highlights that, yes, Bella is a bit of a sociopath (seriously -- does she EVER deign to talk to anyone if she isn't trying to get something of them? People seem to be totally there for her to use, it's crazy!) -- and I even-more-than-with-the-second-book do not understand the appeal of Edward the Sparkly Drama King -- but I'm actually finding myself interested in the vampiric backstory. Get this one more than second. Third is also here, so we'll see how I do with that.

Secondly -- So. Last night, was playing Sims and trying to up the non-Whedon/Caprica population, since the Whedons are starting on their 4th Generation, and i need people for them to breed with. I was playing AJ Loner, and invited Bella Goth to come live with him. (Partly because I wanted her and Mal to hook up). Apparently I ... hit the wrong key or something, because I didn't quit the game before going to bed last night and woke up to find all electronics smoking, THREE burned pots spoiling, Bella talking cheerily on the phone and AJ... Yeah, AJ was dead.

No word as to how. It's not even registered in Bella's memory.

And finally...

Type your cut contents here.

Alright, so ... farewell, Felix, I'm almost sad to see you go... It's so very much this show's gift that they can take Felix from earnest CIC-jockey, to EXTREMELY distressed public servant, to possible-war-criminal, to ... Well Meaning Mastermind to Totally Deserving To Die of High Treason and have it a) make sense and b) actually come all the way around to you kinda loving the guy right there at the end.

My favourite moment of the whole thing was, after the full-body-shock of the Quoram being done away with, was Gaeta's "Its all a lie. We had truth on our side, and now it's all a lie" -- because he was right. At that moment, he lost his faith, and that whole exercise was about faith. Bill and Laura?  They spent the whole episode insisting that they were going to prevail, even though they had absolutely no evidence to support it (other, of course, than the actor's contracts). But that moment revealed Zarek and destroyed Gaeta's righteous indignation and after that...

Pfft.

Also, how awesome was Baltar?  LOVE love LOVE the crazy man. Wanted to give him a hug. And I love the fact that he totally hates his cult. "I wanted to get away from the crazy mutiny, but... really, I wanted to get away from my crazy followers". It's hard out there for a Jesus Figure.

Also, SAM! Poor Sam. That's gotta hurt, even if you are a cylon. Loved that Kara stayed with, and loved that she screamed at Lee to go find his father. I also really enjoyed how we start out with Lee & Kara and one gun, and then slowly acrue a posse as they rescue people. That was great. I'm proud of all of them.

Next week?  Cannot wait. Can. Not. Wait!

I kinda love Starbuck....

2009-02-02T15:55:16Z

Ok, that's not news, but...

Years ago, when movies first started to bring on female characters who can kick ass, I vividly remember how everyone complained that it was 'unrealistic'.

Because what Bruce Willis gets up to in Die Hard? Totally for real. You could do that, as long as you have the testosterone.

Anyway, that stuff -- that whining? -- it's really fallen by the wayside in a lot of ways, and we truly do live in the post-Buffy universe now... but Kara Thrace?

I. Adore. Fracked-Up. Kara. Always and forever.

But I particularly loved her this week, when she went full-on Errol Flynn in the name of saving Lee Adama's ass. That was pure 1930s heroism, taking out the badguys, practically sweeping Lee into her arms, and then laying one on him before they both run off to try to get not-dead in the face of massive amounts of treason and mutiny.

She rocks. And I will miss her when she's gone.

Swarm!

2009-01-23T04:59:46Z

Alright, firstly, I'm still sick. Bronchitis, it is, now -- which actually is less horrible than it was a few days ago, but since it comes with a name and a perscription, I at least got to cancel on work for several days at a time, instead of getting up every morning at 8:30 to say, again, 'guys, I'm totally dying', and have them chirp 'well, we'll see you tomorrow', when I know DAMN well that they are not.

Anyway, being sick, I'm both listless and bored -- so I've been doing a lot of lying around consuming questionable entertainment.

(Ok, and watching the news. People are seriously making a big deal out of the word-flip at the inauguration?  Seriously? )

However, there's something about my current mindset that has rendered me incapable of sitting through Oprah, and I've long since lost my ability to watch daytime soaps, so when Gowdie told me about this nature documentary called "Swarm!" that was narrated by David Tennant, I thought "Hey, why not".

I'll tell you why not:  when you are sick, and having those weird fever dreams, you do not need images of bugs swarming in your head -- let alone mice. The mice! The mice were unbelievable. They were like the elevator-of-blood scene in The Shining, only... They're mice.

Do not want.

This, probably more than anything else, led to my devoting some serious downtime to The Sims today, and I finally got River & River going again. (I'd veered off into Caprica territory, and even brought Trick out of the sim bin and let him start a family, and let me tell you -- River and River's children are not only plentiful, but gorgeous, and the rest of the Whedons?  Horsey. All of 'em. I blame Xander.)

So, after a bit of time growing up some teens, and moving them out, I just got River & River to their hoped for "Ten Kids" tonight. Thus, I give you:

The Whedon Family Christmas Letter/Headcount

1. Willow -- A twin, knowledge sim, currently living with her sister next door to the parents she never visits. Have not played her in so long, I can't remember what she does... probably science.
2. Cordelia -- The other twin, popularity sim, engaged to a doofy looking redhead, because I'm hoping she's a) pretty enough for both of them, and b) going to pass on River's cool redhead gene.   In the athletic track.
3. Zoe -- Fortune Sim, has been in a sim bin for a long damn time. Employed in crime. Zoe was the first over-achiever.
4. Echo -- Family Sim, *was* tied with Cordelia for 'prettiest child' for a long time. Went to the bin this morning.
5. Wash -- Popularity Sim, just grew up and went into the bin today. Surprisingly hot adult (is it me, or do the boys change more from teen to adult than the girls do?) Also in athletics, also in the bin.
6. Mal -- Romance Sim, but I like him anyway. Still a teen.
7. Jayne -- Fortune Sim, just hit teendom, just took a job in the science track.
8. Inara -- Family Sim, just hit teendom, also, and OMG, is she gorgeous. Sorry Echo and Cordy, you have major competition
9. Harmony -- Still a kid, but I predict she'll end up knowledge. I need another one of those.
10. Gunn -- JUST arrived. Seriously JUST, which is what prompted this post, because...

Oh my GOD, I get to ten kids, and finally that want spins off of River and he gets... a want for TWENTY FREAKING GRANDCHILDREN.

Which is... actually totally doable. But I can't help but think... "SWARM".

I'm going to have to get those other families breeding or this town will be more insanely interconnected than Salem.

Ugh. So sick.

2009-01-20T15:38:37Z

I called in sick to work yesterday, after having taken a "personal day" yesterday so that I could see my naturopath. The illness had turned up at 9:30 the night before, so it was in its early stages when I saw my doctor, and I'm grateful to have at least been given some kind of remedy, because the idea of what this would be like without it? Horrifying.

This may be the worst illness of my adult life -- headache, aching muscles, fever, chills, chest cough... horrible.

However, this does mean I'm actually home and in my Ojamas (not making that up -- see here: http://www.ojamas.us/servlet/StoreFront) to watch the inauguration.

Here's hoping I'm still fever-free (it appears to have broken) and not hallucinating by the time 11:30 rolls around.

Cold Snap!

2009-01-15T16:16:24Z

It's absolutely brutal here with the cold. Apparently Toronto's public transit is even less able to deal with cold than it is able to deal with snow -- If I hate anything about Toronto, it has to be how hard it is to get around in the winter... but that might be the thing I hate about Canada, given that T.O. doesn't exactly have a lock on that difficulty.

Nevertheless -- don't they make train switches that don't fail every time the temperature drops? Yet another reason to avoid moving to the 'burbs -- never having to rely on the Go Train.

Anyway, much share my fun & bizzare discovery! Yesterday on my nerdy morning radio show (CBC's Metro Morning -- no ads, no gongs, no screaming. Occasionally giggling, but they try not to let that happen too often), the guest host shared with us this secret of wearing glasses in the winter.

If you enter a building backwards, they will not fog up.

I don't mind telling you that I was so far from taking him seriously on that front that I didn't even bother to remember the tip -- or think of it, when I inevitably had my glasses fog up entering such choice venues as 'my work' and 'the gym'.

This morning, they revisited the topic, though, because apparently they had received a landslide of email and phone calls on the topic, and the (apparently) suspicious sports reporter had actually tried and it and was blown away that this actually worked.

I had to leave before they brought in a Bob Macdonald (who hosts a science show) to explain why this worked, but I had the chance to try it out when I entered the subway after 15 minutes of trudging through the -20C weather and...

It did indeed work. I went backwards -- through a revolving door, no less -- and there was only a tiny bit of fog on the innnermost part of the left eyeglass.

I literally spun around, laughing in shock, in the middle of the Dundas Street entranceway.

Tried it again when I got to work -- even better results. Now, given that I once fell down the stairs at a restaurant because of fogged up glasses (disaster! on so many levels!), I'm extraordinarily grateful to make this discovery -- but I swear, I will not abuse it. Had I entered that restaurant in blithe reverse, I might very well have fallen down all three stairs rather than just the one.

But, at least, I wouldn't have crunched the heck out of my knee.

Cat Ownership Rule Number One: Do Not Forget Who Is Boss

2009-01-13T03:05:21Z

Hint: It is not you.

So I'm cleaning up my apartment -- specifically breaking down the latest influx of Christmas-themed gift bags and putting them into One Big Gift Bag that will now house all the little gift bags and remaining tubes of wrapping paper. As I do this, I am chatting with Dave, who is sitting the sewing table that is reserved as his perch.

"Hey, remember last night when you knocked this gift bag off the table? That was super helpful. Because you know what helps when you can't sleep? Having your bratty cat knocking things over in the middle of the night. Thanks for that."

Dave mews. I bend down and blow lightly in his face. He mews again. I make kissing sounds. He -- I swear to God -- smacks me across the face with his left paw.

I let out a gasp, draw back, and bring my hand up -- which he also bats with his hand, so I indulge him in a couple of seconds of cat-on-human boxing. Then I walk away.

When I come back -- with my collection of gift bags -- Dave has gotten down off the table, and ventured into the BIG gift bag, where he has set up camp and will not be moved. For anything.

Except, possibly, dinner. Which I am going to try now.

(BTW, Being Erica was also good, this week -- but I am weirded out that she a) lives on my old street and b) went to UofT, and spent half the episode wandering along the path behind the law school)

Being Erica: The Miracle of Good Canadian TV

2009-01-12T21:23:58Z

Ok, for the non-Canadians, some context: As a nation, we have long sucked at the sit-com.

Corner Gas, which I have caught here and there, is MILES funnier than pretty much every sitcom we've ever produced -- but that show is a) over and b) not totally my kind of sit-com in the first place. I've thought, a few times over the past few years, how I don't really watch *any* Canadian TV these days. There was a time when Traders was my favourite TV show, period -- and in high school, I adored The Kids in the Hall -- but it's been years now since I've had a TV appointment with TV we've actually made here.

And now, I have found Being Erica. This is a CBC show about a woman in her 30s who feels like a complete failure, and meets (after losing her job, getting dumped and ending up in the hospital all in one day) a guy who claims to be a therapist who will help her change her life. Turns out his unique brand of therapy is to have her make a list of things she's done that she regrets, and then sending her back in time to relive those experiences.

Yeah.

I'ts... um... free on iTunes right now (the premiere, at least), and... I kinda love it. In the first episode she goes back to 1992 (which, yes, is when I was in high school, too), and it's pretty well done. Not only the emotional points, her shock, all that stuff -- but also the very subtle things (like a radio announcer saying "Good morning, Blue Jays fans" -- which you would totally say in 1992), the clothes (she's dressed like Brenda from 90210) and the music (Jesus Jones! Toad the Wet Sprocket! The Fully Completely poster on her wall!) -- and she owns an epilady.

Do they still make epilady?

It also makes Toronto look both gorgeous and ... totally like Toronto. They somehow found a way to make Yonge & Dundas square look cool.

Aaaand it's on tonight at 9. Right after How I Met Your Mother. So, if you are Canadian, and you have -- like me -- given up on Heroes, I recommend it.

If you think your heart can take it -- because *man*, it's a little bit TOO relatable for me right now.

Can you win an Oscar for playing yourself?

2009-01-07T07:12:06Z

I went to see J.C.V.D with my Dad tonight. This, if you haven't heard about it, is the film where Jean-Claude Van Damme plays himself as a washed-up action star, in the midst of sizable personal problems, who ...

Yeah, that's about all I want to say about the plot. I also want to say that I loved it, loved him in it, and continually could not wrap my mind around the fact that this was that guy from the mid-90s who was somewhere between Segal and Schwarzenegger -- a guy I tend not to recall the extistence of unless his Friends episode (the Friends episode I most abhor) turns up in reruns.

(Which, incidentally, it does all the time. My apartment has free satellite. Friends is on, somewhere, at least 12 of the 24 hours of programmable TV. The chances that one of these episodes is either the Van Damme episode or the one where Ross cheats on Rachel is incredibly high).

I went and checked IMDB when I got home, and found that, actually, that lone Friends episode is the only Van Damme I've ever seen, apart from the second half of Time Cop, when it was on TV a decade or so ago.

So, yeah. If you're looking to see a movie about being a washed up muscle-guy and you have a low tolerance for blood -- go for J.C.V.D. over The Wrestler. They're not totally dealing with the same thing, but they sure have a hell of a lot in common, and J.C.V.D is way less stomach-churning, and ... actually, for six becoming-infamous minutes, way more touching. There are a lot of moments in The Wrestler that made me ache, but it's hard to touch the to-the-camera monologue that Jean-Claude performs in the middle of the movie.

Also, way more slags on John Woo, which is strangely fun, if only for the line "he's still be in Hong Kong shooting pigeons without him!".

I'm enough of a film geek to find that absolutely hilarious.

::: Nervous Drumming of Fingers :::

2009-01-03T17:46:43Z

So today at 3 (ish), the BBC will be announcing the eleventh doctor.

I don't know why I feel so nervous, the chances of my having any idea of his previous work is about a hundred to Eccleson. The only thing I knew about Tennant was that he was Barty Crouch Jr. in Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire (*sigh* -- such a meaty role in the book... not that great in the movie) -- so I'll consider it some degree of comfort if I have at least heard of the guy.

Still. Nervous.

Edited: Huh. 3:00 in what timezone? None the matter, here's the news!

sniff Lost first Sim today

2008-12-21T05:30:13Z

About two hours ago, suddenly, at home, Faith Whedon -- matriarch of the ever-expanding Whedon clan -- passed away in her kitchen, in the middle of sulking about the fact that Xander was blocking her way due to his attempt to prepare Pork Chops to feed his starving grandson. Ms. Whedon was accompanied to the afterlife by one Grim Reaper and two hula girls. She took her mai tai happily, as she faded into obscurity, leaving only a headstone next to the hot tub in the back yard.

Daughter Hope, husband Xander and grandson Giles were inconsolable. Son-in-law Blair Mace had no reaction whatsoever, and didn't even bother to note her death in his memories, so it's just as well Faith didn't leave the bastard any money.

I guess someone had to look after baby Anya, born to Hope and Blair earlier that day.

Faith is also survived by son Trick, of the Sim Bin, and noted Mad scientist River Whedon, her husband, General River Whedon, and their children Willow, Cordelia, Zoe, Echo, Wash, Mal, Jayne and Inara.

Somewhat disturbingly, the only person whose aspiration meter went into the bright red zone was the previously sweet Echo, who responded to the news by slapping her father.

The. Hell.

Ok, Amizada, this might cheer you up!

2008-12-08T17:09:56Z

Pride & Prejudice, told via Facebook updates.

In other news, my country isn't so much falling apart as it is heading into a holding pattern.

The snow has come.

Hugh Jackman is way too talented for any one movie to accurately capture.

Gas is only 72 cents a litre.

Honestly, it's really hard to tell if things are looking up or not!

Hey, Harper! A Minority Government: UR Doin It Wrong!

2008-12-02T15:31:08Z

So here's the lesson to learn from Prime Minister Stephen Harper, on this, the second day of December.

If you have a minority government? You can occationally poke the opposition with a stick.

You cannot, however, shove a red hot poker up their ass and expect to remain Prime Minister.

Because I didn't explain last time, I will this. Here's the deal: In an effort to recognize the number of Canadians who vote for any given party -- who then doesn't win a seat, because of the riding they are in -- the government agreed a few years back to pay out $1.75 to each party for every vote they receive. So, for instance, when I vote NDP in my Liberal stronghold riding, the NDP gets some money. And I know that, and it's actually how I decide my vote, given that I know the Liberal is going to win my riding, anyway.

On Thursday, the Conservatives announced they were doing away with that. This is millions of dollars of funding for their rivals, and they were cutting it. The Conservatives would lose their extra funding, also -- but this funding doesn't favour them, as they a) receive more donations as the leading party and b) receive more donation as the party that tends to appeal to people who have money to donate.

It is hard to imagine what they were thinking.

So yeah -- Yesterday, in a fit of "Oh No You Di'int!", the entire opposition (that's Liberals, New Democrats and the Bloq -- read: Liberals, Really Liberals and People Who Hate Canada And All That It Stands For) banded together to form a coalition, and are now planning to kick Steven off his throne, put Stephane Dion (he of the disasterous party leadership term) in as PM, and run the country their own damn selves.

Oy. Just... Oy.

This morning, Marzi sent me this via email, a very smart piece written by walking thesaurus, Rex Murphy:

All Politics, No Government
Rex Murphy Point of View
December 1, 2008
Political scientists will stagger gibbering witless to their graves trying to figure out why the Prime Minister decided to kick off a brand new session of a civil parliament, in the middle of a world economic crisis, by the most lethal partisan jab at the opposition in the history of Confederation.

It's either or. He's either dumb or arrogant. Those are the only options to explain why he pitched a live grenade into the underwear of the opposition parties last Thursday, within, as it were, five seconds of the new Session starting. Either too dumb to know the furies he was releasing, or too arrogant to care.

Either way, now we have an entirely artificial partisan showdown in Ottawa, and make no mistake, this is partisan warfare at its most intense, and nothing other, because Mr. Harper saw a series of belts, and decided he just had to deliver a vicious kick beneath all three of them.

We're in a crisis now, and it started with Mr. Harper, feeding his apparently insatiable appetite continuously to do in the Opposition, and abusing last Thursday's financial statement to kill the financing of his rivals.

That got their attention; and it's worth holding in mind, that without the effort to lop off their funding - not some other higher-minded issue - we wouldn't be where we are today. Don't accept the alibi that this crisis is about the financial statement itself. It was triggered by the threat to political funding.

But that's just the beginning of the most absurd and embarrassing train of political maneuvers to take place in a self-respecting country that I can recall.

For on the other side we have the almost unimaginable farce of a so-called Coalition, complete with its own signing ceremony, being concocted under the weirdest set of conditions in modern politics.
The latest bulletin has Stephane Dion installed as Prime Minister, a man who, after the 77 seats Mr. Dion brought home in the election, the Liberals couldn't wait to boot out of the leadership. They were speculating on it election night. Now, he is good enough to be Prime Minister.

Let's get a look at this. A party looking for a leader itself, wants to install the leader they're ejecting, as the country's leader.

But this farce is very much an improvisation in progress. There's been a round of consulting with Jean Chretien and other impresarios of our national destiny. Every crisis gets the think tank it deserves.

So we're to have a Coalition - not a political party be it noted - as our federal government. Enabled - key word - by - shield your children - the only dedicated separatist party in the House of Commons. Canada's federal government will owe its existence to the one party that doesn't want Canada to exist. When that happens, we've entered the terminal stages of national decline.

A federal government enabled by a separatist party is a contradiction in terms, in logic, and in national honour.

What this manufactured crisis demonstrates is that Canadian politics is not Canadian politics. It's partisan politics. Remember about 8 days ago, this was going to be the civil House of Commons. Yeah; and roses are blooming even as I speak in on the green lawns of Bonavista.
To call all this undignified is to give it too much dignity. What's going on in Ottawa today is pure madness, a scramble for advantage on all sides.

All politics. No government..